Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Red Necks and the Dutchmen


It is 1899 and General Edward Fatbottom and his 1000 English troops are riding through the bush looking for the Boers.

All of a sudden this raggedy scruffy individual jumps up from his seat on a koppie. He yells down to the English, "Hey Soutie, come up here so I can kick your arse. Or go back to England you bunch of useless fairies."

So the General loses his temper at this impudent Boer and tells his 2IC to send 10 men up to sort him out.

Off go the English, a huge commotion breaks out, dust clouds and hair flies. After about 2 minutes the Boer comes back out into sight dusting himself off with his hat. "Is that all you have?", he shouts down. "Go back to England you pansies. Here you will just get beaten like the women that you are!"

So the General sends another 30 men up to silence this loud mouth for once and for all. Again with the dust clouds, loud shouting and swearing. Cries for help. Eventually it quietens down and the Boer once again emerges. His shirt torn, hat askew...

"Is that it? Do you want me to come down there and kick ALL of your arses at once? You lot are pathetic!" he shouts.

Losing it completely the General orders a 100 men up the koppie! "Come back with his head or don't come back at all!" he screams.

This time a monstrous noise erupts, clods of earth and rocks fly through the air. Trees are uprooted! Pieces of uniform fly through the air! Then, one Brit troopie comes crawling over the hill. All ragged and bloody!

"Its a trap!!" he yells, "Its a trap!! There are two of them!!!"

5 Opinion(s):

Doberman said...

LOL!!

Viking said...

That woman is carrying the biggest sandwich I've ever seen!

Anonymous said...

thats a good one

Vince R said...

VI, maybe the Boere had a zulu on their side ;-)

Dachshund said...

@Vince: the boere had quite a few Zulus on the side ...